Well, my weekend is over. That kinda sucks, honestly. I have a little bit of work I should actually be finishing up right now, but I'm procrastinating again. I won't be able to get away with that when I start school next week. Well, I guess I still could, but it wouldn't be the best idea.
I'm torn between being excited about starting class and nervous. I mean...I'm excited because I think I've finally settled on a degree I want to pursue and that's a good feeling, and I'm actually kind of looking forward to my English Comp class in a weird way (funny, because as much as I love reading and writing, I hated my English classes in high school. On the other hand, I loved my Creative Writing class.) I'm nervous, too, though, because it's something new, it's change, and I don't like that. And I'm weary about the people I'm going to have to deal with.
I try not to judge people before I know them - I hate it when people do that to me - but considering the way most of the people around here are (conservative, Christian, close-minded, etc.) I can't see this being easy. I had a hard enough time dealing with the people where I used to live - where they generally weren't as conservative, close-minded, or religious - so I have a hard time with people around here. Going to church for a while like I did made that pretty clear.
Sometimes I worry that maybe I'm over-reacting and being too sensitive about the way people are treating me, but every time I've thought that someone has acted or spoken to me a certain way and someone close to me has been present, they've confirmed that no, I was not being too sensitive. Which means that chances are pretty good that all those times I thought people were acting all superior and condescending, like they were just humoring the cute little girl who thinks she's a rebel but just doesn't know any better, they probably were. And I hate that. But I get that so much around here.
It happened quite a bit when I was in tech school. I can't count the number of times it seemed like the people I was talking to were just barely resisting the urge to pat me on the head and tell me how cute it was that I had such and such an opinion or something about a situation I knew nothing about. (Case in point being the people who couldn't possibly believe that I a) don't want children and won't have any and b) want to travel overseas, get a band off the ground, write a book, etc., because of course I'm a woman, so how could I possibly not want teh babbys and not want to stay home and be the perfectest house wife in teh whole wide world?)
I can't wait to move out of this awful state. Everything seems so backwards. My mom certainly agrees with me on that - she said she had culture shock when she first moved out of state and she couldn't believe how far behind everyone here was. It hasn't changed any. Where I lived before, I could find unnatural hair dye in just about every store that carried hair color; here, I've found it in two stores, and one of those stores doesn't always carry it. The manga and anime sections of book stores are small - if there's one at all. There is only one semi-decent Asian grocery in the city and no import store; there was a big import store and multiple Asian groceries in area I used to live. I miss that import store. They had so much awesome stuff, and the staff was nice...Stuff that was popular a handful of years ago where I used to live is just becoming noticed here. With the internet, the gap is definitely less than when I was a kid (we had visited when I was about 10, and I noticed the gap then, too).
And this post has gotten far longer and more off topic than I was expecting. This was just supposed to be me lamenting on how my weekend is over. And I just realized that my laptop has not been plugged in the entire time I was working on this post. Which would explain why the screen seemed dimmer. And I'm really lucky the battery didn't die on me, because it's probably been unplugged all weekend, and the computer was on (in sleep mode, but on). And I have several programs open, had been working for about an hour before I started the post, and have other procrastination-worthy things running.
And speaking of work, I really should go finish it. I do need to get some sleep tonight.
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